Mumbai/New Delhi

…and after posing for the mandatory clicks is headed for the buffet hall. As he is busy chatting up the lovely Aizwal, New Delhi sneeks by again to have some fun..

New Delhi: So,you want a city-state status, handsome?

Mumbai: I would do better than you if I have one. Not that I want one.

New Delhi: Touché.

Mumbai: Go take your call-center English someplace else.

New Delhi: Call centers are in Gurgaon and Noida

Mumbai: Exactly, you want all the good things in life, there is life on the roads too.

New Delhi: So you don’t pretend that there is nothing north of Churchgate.

Mumbai: Where do you think is the airport?

New Delhi: Ah, there is the South Bombay snob I know; you don’t even know marathi.

Mumbai: Kay pan, amhi international jhale (whatever, I have gone global)

New Delhi: Kya? (what)

Mumbai: That was marathi and I have went global, unlike you. I am the gateway of India

New Delhi: Gateway to a lot of other things too

Mumbai: What is that supposed to mean?

New Delhi: I think you know.

Mumbai: Set your own house in order first you prick.

New Delhi: My place is spick and span with 2 back-up generators.

Mumbai: hmm..ok alright, tell me one think, it’s been 100 years been you have been the capital now, what have you achieved till now?

New Delhi: What are your achievements?

Mumbai: Is that your answer?

New Delhi: Lots...so many

Mumbai: I am eager to listen..please enlighten

New Delhi: We are best in the country in culture, sports, infrastructure,

Mumbai: We have Kalaghoda art festival, we have been RANJI champs 39 times and I believe you have heard of the Bandra-Worli sea-link.

New Delhi: I have the best universities.

Mumbai: You have an IIM?

New Delhi: I have an IIT

Mumbai: You think I don’t?

New Delhi: I have the best real-estate, not match boxes like halls.

Mumbai: That is called maximizing the space by going higher

New Delhi: Looks worse that decayed trash

Mumbai: Do you even have a skyline? Even a promenade?

New Delhi: Atleast I don’t pretend to be the next Shanghai.

Mumbai: I am aspirational, you are too obsessed with yourself.

New Delhi: Beautiful people are

Mumbai: Could you be any more vain?

New Delhi: Could you be more irritating?

Mumbai: Yes I can; and truth irritates

New Delhi: We have better looking people.

Mumbai: That ...is a preposterous thing to say

New Delhi: Come to Lady Shriram or Miranda House, heck even Chandni Chowk and you will know.

Mumbai: Hmm ,quality products all Chandni Chowk to China, Delhi 6..

New Delhi: You are digressing from the issue?

Mumbai: Aila, digress ? Jyaada tune mat de, items are not short supply with me.

New Delhi: What type of local bambaiyya lingo is that?

Mumbai: It’s called slang…but you have to get rid of your foreign fake twang to develop such a thing.

New Delhi: Saale bhains ki aan…

Mumbai: Shut up..that’s an expletive..not slang. As I said, you don’t have any

New Delhi: Because we are cultured

Mumbai: Because you didn’t have the talent.

New Delhi: If localising Hindi is you talent, then so be it..

Mumbai: So you accept that I am more creative.

New Delhi: I have to run the whole country; I can’t waste time on you.

Mumbai:60 years and you still can’t manage to do that

New Delhi: I can if people like you learn to fall in line and leave me to my job

Mumbai: That’s what I asked you. Leave me alone. But no you had to poke and pry.

New Delhi: You will never grow up

Mumbai: Who are you to tell me that oldie?

New Delhi: You are a spoilt, filthy child who refuses to listen.

Mumbai: You are an overfed uncle who would clog his arteries but never share his chips.

New Delhi: This conversation is over.

Mumbai: Don’t come over next time around.

New Delhi: You will pay for this.

Mumbai: We all know who pays and who loots.

New Delhi: It’s pointless.I am going for the budget meeting.

Mumbai: who cares?

New Delhi: saddi gali bhulke ke bhi mat aaiyo