Unlikely news this year

India is full of news stories, Indians consume news. Ours is such a vast and treacherous nation that stories happen on every road, footpath or corridor. Not all become national news. The more things change, the more they look the same. As a flight of my imaginations I thought of things that are most unlikely to occur.

1. Mobile phone tariffs increase
2. Petrol prices hit below 50 rupees
3. Mumbai metro getting ready on time
4. Rahul Gandhi becomes a Cabinet minister
5. Economy growth rates dips below 8 %
6. Salman Khan is out of news
7. Sharad Pawar resigning voluntarily
8. Delhi roads become safer at night
9. CPI (M) winning in West Bengal and Kerala assembly elections
10. An indigenous animation film be the biggest hit in India
11. MTV decides to air Roadies-8 only twice a day
12. CAT coaching classes reduce fees
13. Another IIM alumni writes a best-seller
14. Mass deleting of accounts and exodus of people from Facebook
15. Gold prices dip below 20,000/10 gram
16. Knight Riders winning the IPL
17. Final decision on Telangana issue
18. Kumar Sanu or Udit Narayan sing a chartbuster
19. New 100 currency notes with J. Nehru on the obverse side
20. Getting a correct monsoon prediction from MET department
21. 5 new nuclear reactors sanctioned with 2000 MW capacity each
22. Chicken tikka masala becomes the official national curry of India
23. Coca-Cola or Pepsi making a comeback with increased sales
24. One new cult fiction TV series that becomes an instant hit
25. Nestle gives Kit-Kat free with a maggi double pack or 4 pack
26. India to have 2 time zones – Mumbai and Kolkata to save daylight
27. Government lets Tata enter aviation sector by buying Air India back
28. Plastics bags are banned throughout the country and milk is sold in bottles
29. Anil Kapoor shutting the hell up before the release of Mission Impossible:IV
30. Media remains calm irrespective of whether India wins the world cup or crash out in quarter or semis

Feel free to add more in the comments section!

Why Dabangg rocks

Why Dabangg rocks

Because its critic proof

Because it is spoofy yet has a core

Because it has unmistakable faith in the lead

Because the shirt knows when its time to let go

Because it is a movie designed to be exactly what it is

Because it brought back ticket scalping at single screens

Because Zandu balm was never used as it was in Dabangg

Because the action scenes have a graphic novel like quality

Because the producers were quite literally Dabangg -fearless

Because it gives 10 new dance steps to do in Ganesh visarjan

Because before this you never knew there was a word called Dabangg

Because it has clap traps and whistle hooting moments every other scene

Because somehow Dabangg has Malaika’s 12^th blockbuster item number

Because even fastrack couldn’t think goggles could be worn behind your shirt

Because every so called intellectual is lying if he says he didn’t like it one bit

Because it exploits something inexplicable – the star power of Salman Khan

Because Salman mouths dialogues that would make anyone else saying it look like an idiot and does things only he can carry off.