Rookie F1 fans

F1 is getting really popular in India and is a bonafide ‘must-be-seen-there’ showpiece event. But then when has F1 has not been glamorous. Fast cars, machinery, grid-girls, money, attractive locales, brands and business in a weekend of action.

As a new event on the F1 calendar, The Grand Prix of India was a huge success and media played up the event and maintained the hype .India always had latent support for F1 although it was restricted to the metros and other A1 cities like Bangalore, Hyderabad and Pune.

That F1 will take off in India is a great thing ! But in it is a set of people who are new and recent converts and fans of F1. And some of these are real snobs and won’t learn a sport that is new to them with humility. They act pompous. That is where humour can be found.

Some pointers of recent F1 fans, rookie smart-ass F1 fans.

• Success breeds popularity, so most of them love RedBull. And by extension Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber ..in that order. Mark being the sympathetic favourite, Sebastian the obvious one.
• They are RedBull fans and don’t know the genius that is Adrian Newey.
• They tried their level best for ticket of F1 party to see Metallica (hahaha) and Lady Gaga, but will return and say that the race was the best noise they ever heard.
• They don’t find Hamilton-Massa duels funny, its wheel to wheel action for them. Serious stuff, high octane crash and bang.

• They will say Aryton Senna was the best ever. Why? Because they heard Michael Schumacher say so. And who the heck is this Alain Prost?
• After this they watch Asif Kapadia’s documentary Senna ..and get back to you and say “Prost is a prick”.
• Ask them about DRS and they will say – the Decision Review System is not 100% reliable yet .The Hotspot doesn’t work in the cold English weather. Oh! DRS is Drag Reduction System as well? Is that why there is that movable rear wing ? Shoot :X

• Their favourite McLaren driver depends on whether they like Nicole Scherzinger or Jessica Michibata..
• If you mention the Brazilian GP has an anti-clockwise circuit, they might think it is because of the time-zone ,Southern hemisphere and the time differential.

• They often pronounce Renault as r-e-n-a-u-l-t and not Ren-o, although they know that the Pirelli tyres are filled with Nitrogen and the car's body is of carbon fibre.
• A naive guy may ask innocently – do these cars have keys?
• Before long, RedBull was an energy drink, Lotus was a flower, pit was spelt Pitt and came with Brad, F1 was help, F2 rename, F5 slideshow.
• They cram up every circuit name and its location to sound knowledgeable.Make mental notes

Singapore – night race

Abu Dhabi – twilight race

Monaco- glamour street race

 Montréal - island race

Now repeat...

• They don’t get the Kinky Kylie reference to RB7, instead think of this this Agent Provocateur ad of Kylie Minogue.

• Sebastian Vettel’s car is called Kinky Kylie, something that every driver wants to ride on. See below.

• Others support Ferrari because they like history and also like being miserable ( these are also Arsenal fans)
• Will start playing the fantasy F1 league, buy merchandise from Puma outlets,follow F1 twitter feeds of Scuderia Ferrari, Steve Slater and Martin Brundle
• The most fun is through reverse snobbery (i.e. if you yourself are mature F1 fan) to let them explain some technicalities like rear wing or downforce and then ask with a poker face “So what is the mileage of an F1 car?” If they know they will reply condescendingly (oh what fun), if they do not, just say, I will ask someone else and walk away.